This Thursday I turn 28. And ever since the car accident that almost took away my ability to celebrate birthdays I’ve been hyper-celebratory. Every 6 months is important to me now. Literally. Every six months is a milestone. Every birthday is important. Every New Years has become important.
My birthday lost importance once I hit 21 and I started forgetting how old I was, didn’t much matter to me… Great indication of how I will be later in life. Perhaps forever 35?
But since my car accident, it’s another story. A whole different ball game so to speak. And it’s only been emphasized after losing two dear friends and former teammates in the past couple months.
I am ANGRY. VERY VERY ANGRY. I’ve spent lots of my adult life trying to figure out the best and most appropriate way to deal with anger, and I had thought that I’d come to a pretty good resolution when my car accident happened. And a year and a half later I’ve lost two friends.
And I am Angry. I am angry at myself for not having talked to them on a more regular basis or made an effort to stay in touch. But most of all I am ANGRY that I have to spend my days working, to pay my bills.
HOW TRIVIAL BILLS SEEM FACED WITH YOUR OWN MORTALITY. HOW TRIVIAL BILLS SEEM WHEN YOU’VE LOST TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS.
This. Is. Why. I. Am. ANGRY. (pounding my fists.)
Don’t get me wrong. I generally LIKE what I do. But it seems to be a Catch-22. Have to work. Have to pay the bills. In the meantime you’re losing quality time that could have been spent with family and friends.
Well. This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for my family and friends. I vow to do a better job of keeping up with my friends and family. Let’s call it a pre-resolution. And I’d like to encourage all of you to think about what you are TRULY THANKFUL FOR.
If you need help setting a scene to conjure thanks, watch this short video.
